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Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Born and Raised.....

Up until about 4 years ago I did not truely understand the phrase born again christian. Before I expienced this I counted myself as blessed because I have been a christian all my life .There was never a moment in my life I didnt know God. I was born into a christian family and raised by a woman who truely loves the Lord. My mother did her job, she told us about Jesus, took us to church,and taught us to pray about everything. She gave me the greatest gift a person can give another, a  christian foundation. The foundation is the base and how I go about building my own person relationship was then up to me. My true understanding was when I felt a foundation is not enough, I wanted walls, doors and a roof. I wanted walls to protect me against the enemy ,I wanted doors open to me to find rest in the Lord, I wanted a roof so I knew the Lord was with me and not out of reach. This was when my journey  , and my understanding of born again christian began.
I stood in my kitchen one afternoon, miserable ,upsest, and lost. I was in my every 30s  and had enough of trying to conquer the world. I felt like every step forward I took ,I took four steps backward.I had no idea  on an average afternoon when I was truly at my lowest and most vulnerable  that  afternoon ,that very second was about to become the greatest second of my whole life.That very second my whole life would change and here I was a puddle of tears,kneeling next to my fridge so sad I couldnt even look up to pray so I sat there with my face in my hands and through the crying said ,Jesus,help me. 
2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficiant for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
I sat there and said Jesus, help me, I cant do this alone. Everything I thought I needed so badly in this world, nothing compares to how bad I need you. I hate this life and where I see it going, I hate living this life trying not to need you, trying to become a mature adult , a productive member of society, pleasing to all,to be independent , this life is a dead end and I am  at the that end. I want a doover. I want to start over and do this life right, not by the world by you, I want to need you, I want to be dependent  on you, to be pleasing to you. Please Lord , hear me I want you to take this badly broken heart and teach it to love again,take my eyes and show them to see good, take my mind and clear it,let me see truth. Reboot me!Amen.
Job 42:5-6 I have heard of you by hearning of the ear:But now my eyes see you "Therefore I retract, And I repent into dust and ashes.
I had no Idea  that day I would live to understand how Job felt and what he meant but at that moment  I did. I stood up wiped my face and prepared for shift change. It was about 2 pm and I was about to go from homemaker to mom in 1 hour when the kids got off the bus. That day I was born again.
Isaiah 35:8  And a highway will be there;it will be called the Way of Holiness,it will be for those who walk on the Way. The unclean will not journey on it; wicked fools will not go about it.
Matthew 7:14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few will find it.
Luke 13:24 Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you ,will try to enter and will not be able.
 Matthew .Luke, and Isaiah all encourage us to be born again in Christ. They encourage us to learn to become completely dependent on God.
It was not  easy, for the next 5 years I had to rely on God to help me perservere,. I had to overcome strong hold after stronghold, I had to break link by link of the chain that binds me to the world, each one harder than the last but I was all in. I did not want to quit and never looked back , fear of turning to a pillar of salt. I  was focused and I knew in my heart this was a marathon and I saw His face at the end and kept running.
There will always be more to let go of and more to overcome but eventually you are aware that the holy spirit is the one running beside you,  you are not alone anymore , He and all his powers are now alive and controlling everything  around you , the road, the finish line , the bi- standers , fellow runners etc.
Galatians 5:16 So I say walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
God really wants us to walk by Him.
He wants us to be born to Him and each stronghold ,trial , lesson he leads us through is Him raising us to be like Jesus.
All I can do now is what my mom did through love introduce another to God ,and pray their foundation will be laid.